groupism...

I think one of the sources of phoniness is groupism, it makes you want to 'fit in' and in the process takes you away from what you are. Groupism is something worse than peer pressure, for the latter affects your public life like academics/profession, but groupism affects you as a person for it embodies friendship. groupism is worse for it is all pervasive, it ruins the individuality on the pretext of loyalty...
US has become what it is, because it could divide the world into groups. So we became the third world, and the group of the great 8 became our caretakers, even though they sucked their resources from us.
Nearer home, britishers ate into the vitals of our society by selling groupism to us. so some became moderates and the other extremists. some gandhians and others violent revolutionaries.
I am not including groupism on the basis of religion/caste/region etc., stuff we are born with, coz those may be called camaraderie..or whatever. although even this is groupism for me, and thus also, a source of phoniness. Come to think of it, the various interpretations of koran to justify Jehad, which most of the times are contradictory, is an example of phoneyness that groupism breeds. it makes you defend your stance as a part of the group irrespective of what 'logic' or 'reason' says.
Being a groupie makes life easier, you have people to stand by you, you buy loyalty by selling yours.Its the best way to escape criticism. Thus there is no place for ethics and morality in groupism, it is, simply put, an agreement, of convenience and by convenience and for convenience. Thus it leads to shallow thinking and living.
It might sound cynical, but pure logic says that groupism can be dangerous. without ethics and morality as benchmarks, and reason and logic becoming immaterial for 'loyalty', it sure can lead to and has lead to disasters.
Jehad is one example, for there is no specific aim or ideology to back it. theres only the loyalty factor, groupie factor. so jehadis of hamas will support kashmiri militia for the reason as 'heavy' as loyalty to cause of killing in the name of Islam.
USA and Britain are groupies, are able to legitimize mass killings by signing the pact of loyalty to each other's misdemeanors.
sometimes groupism is harmful because it might suppress the opposing individual voices. such oppostions are inherent to a democratic world and suppression of the same can be extremely harmful. During freedom struggle, such a part was played by the Indian National Congress, which even though, had innocent intentions, became such a powerful group, that it drowned the alternate views. somewhere, formation of the muslim league and turning of the tide for jhinna can be attributed to this congress groupies.
Groupism, which means, to the exclusion of others is extremely sick in its very concept. It thrives specially in a competitive environment, where the reassurance of being good and being cajoled is seeked by many. Although groupism provides this kind of reassurance, because of the pact, that i talked about,it leads to wastage of talent, for it kills true competition. it leads people to believe in a safe and unadventurous life, for it makes them believe they are good enough, and all that is fake, for the reassurances are fake. it gives ppl false impression of success and contentment and makes them complacent and unadventurous and wary of treading and exploring challenging grounds.
But the sad part is, you never realize that you are a groupie. its become so inherent to our lives, that non-groupies are tagged as loners/non-conformists/aberrations. But we fail to realize what most people who stand out in the world, who make a mark for themselves..are...they are non-conformists, they are non-groupies.
also they are loners, for the place at the top, is only for The One.

just to clarify...

I believe in non-violence, although not a Gandhian, I would not give my other cheek for another slap, but I would just hold the slapping hand, all filmi style, till the point the other person cools down... the mention of killing in the caption...well its metaphorical..to kill the phoney mentality!!

Want the world to know u sneezed....ORKUUT!!

I agree its a good thing to keep in touch, for we are emotional beings and get attached to people/places. Also the idea of meeting the long lost has been romanticized so greatly that a site like orkut becomes like a magnet for the unloved(read people suffering from the attention deficiency syndrome). It allows them to tell people they exist, want to exist for them, let them know their conquests(read the relationship status, professional profile, but also books and passion can be worth a read to understand the conquests). And well then there are the testimonials, testimonial of the fact how many people love them, adore them. Oh yes, not to forget the fan list, and the unending endeavour to make it as long as any one in your friends list or your friend's friend's list!!
Anybody with a slightly sane mind (read unphony) and decent power of observation will be able to guess that both the above are the results of (to put it in less derogatory words) mutual admirations. I agree to the mutual bit of it, for there seems to an unsaid understanding that I will raise you to the pedestal of the fan list god, and the receiver of unaccounted 'honey sweet and adorable testimonials' if you do the same for me. For this reason, I quite dispute the genuine existence of admiration, anyways thats immaterial as long as there is the long fan list and testi list.
And then there is the photo album, that is a pictorial account of the conquests. So there will be your photo, in the best of pose that your unshapely body could strike, at an angle that nobody will be able to notice that bulge or crooked features. And picasa is always there to add the much needed effect. Then there's another one with your partner, and the rest of that conference you attended, that trip to singapore/any phoren land, and any other pic that makes you look like a cousin of bipasha/john.
If the above are not sufficient to open your life like a 'khulli kitab' to the entire world, much to your excitement, there is the very public scrap book. Well the purpose was, to write scarps in it, but as it turns out, its the best forum to make public all that has not been made...so there are most personal stuff written and so wantingly made public, it being the next best forum to carry on the mutual admiration.
But one positive aspect of orkut, which I have figured out after much delibertation is that it promotes world peace. I was, very obviously, the high headed snobbish bitch in school, I think am still in law school, but a reclusive version of the same. And here I was on orkut, replying to people with honey sweet hiiis, how r us'...to people i never bothered to speak to even in school.
So well, even though it aids to spread the plague of phoneyness, atleast theres love for the unloved and desperate souls. Good going..keep orkutting!!

something i cant ever forget...

One of my friends, a hindu, in absolute sense of the term, said once, when I started with my 'oh..so juvenile' views on communal riots...

'u cant understand this..u have lived all ur life in a place where religion has been a non issue...ne ways..u are far from being a hindu..u chant hanuman chalisa on diwali for godsake..but i believe Godhra happened for good...these muslims had to be told things and get issues straight'...

all my arguments on being human and sensitive and on non-violence were dismissed off as I am, according to her, politically illiterate...for she is born n brought up in UP ..n well...me in a wannabe cosmo town Chandigarh.

Even if agreeing to my illiteracy and wannabeness...am I still juvenile in saying....plz dont KILL!!

Me...here and very sad

I came back from dinner, disgusted at, well guess, PHONINESS. I am not much of a controversy seeker and I try not to be rude (i do try, seriuosly) . So well I just threw my plate off..not literally..I love food..and came back. Will write later what happened, before that something about me..

I am a self-proclaimed capitalist and I define capitalism not according to the leftist definition but in my own terms. Those terms and their modalities are under consideration right now. I say leftist and not Marx, coz I think he has been misunderstood and painfully twisted to suit all situations...well this is also for later.
I am on my way to become a good hearted, and concerned capitalist. I wish to change things, I wish to be aware and a complete human being. I believe, living in my small microcosm, mainly consisting of me, my thoughts and my readings, that all human beings are sensitive basically, its life that pushes them to the fringes of cruelty and forces them to indulge in acts that vary from being rude to being dastardly.

However, I have come to realize that the world outside has belied my beliefs. I was wrong in considering Holden Caufield to be just a teenage reck, I think his was a fight against what we have come to be:phonies, hypocrites, selfish junglees. I might sound paranoid, but I genuinely donot understand if there is any kind of justification, be it legal/illegal, humanly/unhumanly, any justification for such madness. Nobody gains from this idiotic stupidity.

And I say all this coz at the dinner table, at India's leading institution for legal education, where people swear by rights/duties blah blah, people who intend not to sell their souls to corporates and want to 'work for the masses'.. meaning do a course of Human rights from Harvard/Michigan blah blah, say
- I am tolerant to gays!!!(sweetie...they dnt want u to tolerate them, they want u to leave them unnoticed..as u would leave any other human being unnoticed)
-Apart from political correctness, its a fact, two guys kissing is disgusting and the first reaction will be yuck!!!(mine too...but it'll be for u and ur bf kissing also)

These ppl then put forward the argument that its non-conformist and if u do nething like that, like walking naked, it will attract chhii thuus...i have no hassle with somebody putting forward this argument, but what disgusts me is what followed. When I questioned whether these chii and thuus would follow a disabled, somebody with no hands...guess the reaction..it was a unanimous...'OBVIOUSLY...look at those beggers..chhii thuuu'

At last, while 'throwing my plate', I said its an arguement against insensitivity..the future legal eagles of India said....shrugging their shoulders...TOO BAD!

Indeed..really bad...and very sad!