doubting my own mean self...

I have come to realize that I am a good person. I got slotched..ok not slotched..slightly high and then referred to the yuckiest person in the world as a sweetheart. I was jumping and hopping around, smiling to all and sundry. Ok this is weird for me coz I am rude and obnoxious to ppl I donot like and am cold to ppl in general.
I donot understand my other self, the drunk self. Is this real, or is my drunk self real.Am I pretending to be a bitch, am I PHONEYYY!!!....

to be or not to be..

.. an individual..for if you are..you are going against the flow..u are hurting the majority..for if you are not..you are a part of the millions who live and die everyday with nothing significant in their existence.

is phoneyness and facades a part of our lives..is it possible to shunt them out of our lives..
will doing such a thing make you a mentally disturbed person..
or are 'mentally disturbed ppl', the only 'individuals' ard..

Food of thought..

"The extreme limit of wisdom, that's what the public calls madness" - Jean Cocteau

Much to my relief somebody called Jeffrey Young said "You can't buy cool with a bunch of Seattle-centric, flannel-shirted mini-Bills driving new Ford Expeditions, wallowing in their overheated stock options and soaring sense of self-worth. World-class creativity requires more than rational thinking. It takes a certain madness."