doubting my own mean self...

I have come to realize that I am a good person. I got slotched..ok not slotched..slightly high and then referred to the yuckiest person in the world as a sweetheart. I was jumping and hopping around, smiling to all and sundry. Ok this is weird for me coz I am rude and obnoxious to ppl I donot like and am cold to ppl in general.
I donot understand my other self, the drunk self. Is this real, or is my drunk self real.Am I pretending to be a bitch, am I PHONEYYY!!!....